BEFORE THE ROOSTER CROWS .. again...

clicking on the following link will direct you to the directly related page containing the Peter Post titled: Tuesday, November 22, 2005 [[ CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG? ]


Halleluiah! ¡Aleluya! Halleluja! Aleluia! Холлелуиа! Алелуйа!

Peter

You have walked alongside Jesus for many years.

You approached him one day down on Madison, or somewhere. You said to him “You’re Christ, the Son of the living God." and Jesus said the fact that you even knew who he was, had come as a divine revelation.

God Himself had told you.

God says those things a lot down on Madison, I suppose but this time it was real and you were going to build a church and no force of Satan would ever be able to overcome it.

Someone was supposed to give you keys to the kingdom and you were to be elected the spokesman and everyone was supposed to obey whatever truth or nonsense you spewed.

Then, Jesus told you "Whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven."

Boy, you should’ve never ditched him, you could be Kingdom Manager III by now.

Remember the days when the two of you hung out on the mountain of transfiguration? Surely, you have to remember walking on water with him but that was then … this is now..nobody really thinks you walk on water these days, so sorry for bringing that one up.

For the record, it’s a mighty god-damned good thing (oops sorry)… ahem .. it’s a mighty good thing you don’t know any guards these days .. that ear choppin-off gig can earn you some time in the lion’s den; those lion’s didn’t have a taste for Daniels but they sure hunger for Peter.

Anyway, Jesus told you to keep his alibi a secret and he warned you that he was going to suffer horrifically and then he was gonna die and come back to life to prove his point.

You tried to argue with him and you told him he was lying, he assumed that Satan had taken over your senses and demanded that Satan get thee behind him.

This is where it all wrong, in my book.

You were also warned ahead of time that you would deny your best friend and after the third time you did it, some cock would show up.

You never listen do you?

You denied ever knowing Jesus. Do you remember that, Peter?

You bragged that you would never deny being a follower of Jesus…that is until good ol’ J.C. got arrested and hauled off.

Then you bailed on him.

Everyone wondered where you went, especially J.C.

Some say you were hanging out on the sidelines watching it all go down. Some woman even approached you and asked if you were one of the men with Jesus.

She wasn’t insinuating you were with Jesus in that way; Jesus, Peter, she just wanted to help you.

But your brain was all about the sex, so you denied even knowing him, you did that a total of three times to be exact; after your third denial you heard the cock and realized what you had done.

(Is it just me or is it a total coincidence that "Peter" and "Cock" mean the same thing?)

You’re kinda like the “Runaway Peter” and you left Jesus at the altar a very long time ago.

Jesus needed a committed friend and you ran away.

We know you aren’t perfect, Peter and so does Jesus. I guess he has probably forgiven you, I wouldn’t but hey, those bumper stickers say that this is What Jesus Would Do, not What I Would Do.. hell you wouldn’t wanna know what I would do.

In conclusion, it's been rumored that you have written two epistles although some dispute their authorship.

One emphasizes Christ's example to those who are suffering and the need to lead a godly life in a heathen environment and the other warns against false and corrupt leaders. How ironic.

Just think, Jesus could have avoided all that painful piercing had you not shown up with that cock of yours.

Meat Counter

clicking on the following link will direct you to the directly related page containing the Peter Post titled: Tuesday, November 08, 2005 [[ STRANGE ENCOUNTERS ]]

When I read Peter's last post, I thought, "Peter left himself an open target here!"
This one, I thought, will be so easy to comment on but then as a sick twist of fate; it left open so many avenues to strike at that I just became immediately confused. I couldn't comprehend the simpleness. I was momentarily stumped. I guess I must be a genius. Or something.

I don't doubt Peter attracts weirdos, that remains an unspoken notion or at least it should be.

No doubt, when this little "encounter" took place, he had been up for two days straight; living off of coffee, nicotine and the rush of yet another manic episode.

Now, what exactly do you think is going to happen when you stroll down a dark inner-city street in the wee hours of the morning and hang out in front of sleazy storefronts with...dirt on the walls?

The average Peter doesn't live that way.

Peter, you have every right to feel so dirty and uncut, I read the post and immediately had to go take a long shower.

You should really consider buying your cigarettes by the carton, then you wouldn't have to interrupt your novel writing and wander down to the local store at three in the morning in the middle of one your psychotic and manic episodes.

For the sake of anal-ogy, similar to the way a dog knows which dumpster has the freshest meat in it or the way that same dog can pick up the scent of a pre-menstual female; weirdos are bloodhounds too and they can pick up the stench of a manic episode from miles away.

Just like Forrest and Jenny went together like peas and carrots; manic and weirdo go hand and hand, if you go-a-manic the weirdo will most certainly find you and sometimes vice-versa.

Speaking of peas and carrots, I'm feeling a little famished and I'm going to get something to eat.

Maybe I'll drive down by that seedy little store and scrawl Peter's email address in the dirt on the walls. He doesn't strike me as one that gets too much into the exercise thing; so if he was walking, he must only live a few blocks away. I'll put on my bloodhound nose and see if I can find which window his manic stench is emitting from and leave him a pack of smokes, a bottle of zoloft and maybe I'll leave my business card; in case he wants to send a thank you note.

God, sometimes it must really suck to be you; just minding your own business and then having to constantly deal with life's intrusions.

I agree with you Peter, God certainly does have a sick sense of humor.

So do you.

And when I die; I expect to find the both of yous laughing.